UnTitle 137

what the use anyway?
it mean nothing at all for them..
yup.. it them..
they know nothing at all..
or it just them who pretending..
pretending for acting dun know..
hmm... it bit too much confusing..
anyway.. it confusing..

can see what they want..
but it feel i'm just nothing for them..
i'm useless to them..
yeah! useless is always useless..
why need to determine that..

nah.. i know..
knew that i just a tool...
never mind..
i already used to it..
it feel horrible all the time..

i learned the hard way that i
cant always count on people
to respect my feelings.. even
if i respect theirs.. *sigh*
it fucking unfair at all..
i will never ever lose my self again.. while
trying to hold on for someone
who doesn't care about me..
yeah..
i;m sorry if you dun like my honesty..
but to be fair right..
i dun like your lies.. that all..

sometime.. better to be alone..
so nobody can hurt me..
hey! hey! ho!
there is no sometime for me
i need to keep it as "always"

okay sometime..
nice people have to be bastard right?
every once in a while..
just to keep sure that they also
need to be appreciate what they done..
nahh... it bluffing..

choose me or lose me..
i'm not a backup plan you know?
and definitelyyyyy not
second fucking choice..
but.. but.. but..
maybe one day..
i will be what you need...
hey! it still got but right?
i dun wait too long..
because the day you want me..
maybe  the day i finally give up..
hahahaha~
it funny to say like this..
make me feel like an fucking asshole..
lalalalala~

to be fair..
i'm also a human..
even i hate human.. but..
i also got heart and feeling to
take care.. so fuck off
go away from my fucking heart..
gosh! almost got heart attack here..

but after all...
i have learn to give...
not just because i have..
but because i have known
the feeling of not having..
so i want to give up already..
just for you all..
muahahahaha~ (it an evil laugh)

just like a usual..
i use to give and give up to
some people who deserve better
better than me.. :)

woah!
what the bluffing i add here...
i just want to cont. story from the last entry
not to bullshit around... hais~

MY BEST FRIEND - PART IV

it may the bad day..
i not just story what he tell to me..
but i can make a story that what happen to him..
not i want to make up a story..
it because he with me.. same school with me..
that all i can tell.. not all the detail..
lalalalaa~ hmm~

let's start at form5 now..
when the shit happen..
you know... dun enough money..
just sitting by and sleeping at the class..
oh man.. he just same as me..
we both cant go to canteen
just like other student..

when break time..
we just running around like crazy dog..
run to "dewan makan" hahahaha~
it got free drink right..
or if to lazy and fatty as to go..
we just sleeping.. it kind fun..
hey friend.. because of you..
sleeping already become my habit..
thanks to you!!

day to day..
we keeping up like that..
until his fucking idea come up..

"why don we sell cigarette?"

"are you fucking kidding right?"

"so are you fucking scare?
you want to keep up just like this?
ending your self sleeping all the time?
dun forget.. you need money right?"

"ya.. i know that.. but it to risk, what
happen if warden find out?"

"if warden find out.. you burn! that
the risk we had to take.. do you want to
escape every fucking thursday? just because you
cant effort drawing book?"

"ya.. ya i know.."

"okay.. just shut up and let's sneak out buying supply"

so we go out and buy 2kotak premium..
it funny just to buy that 1 thing...
1 for our and 1 for selling..
ah.. hancur juga BI ku.. kakakakaka~

then day after day..
business semakin maju...
so far so good... but...
that time.. we dun like to mingle with
other form5..
not because we arrogant or what..
we just want to feel calm and peaceful
no fucking fight.. no bullying and so on lah..

better hang up with junior..
we respect them and they respect us..
simple and easy right...
but they also fucking annoying junior
yang mo tunjuk2 taiko kunun.. bikin panas..
so it easy to deal with them..
it need fucking psycho..
he was the best.. mcm pakar...
kesian juga la tengok muka tu budak
kana psiko sikit -_-

because he so close with form4..
all the trouble their had they told him
so almost all form4 know him..
not because he strong or what..
i also dun know why.. but..
he always settel they problem..
yeah.. almost all there problem involve fighting..

"begaduh.. begaduh.. begaduh..
macam buduh ja aku tgk kmu ni"

that the word he always say...
but he never intervene...

"begaduh la kmu puas2.. yang lain..
kalau mau masuk campur.. makan dulu
penyapu ni.."

when they start fighting..
we start buisness.. selling ciggt..
always.. sold out stock lah..
if there were fight...

but i cant tell anything anymore..
because......... i'm not good for make any story..
it look like bullshit ni..
no plot.. no header.. no cover story..
sorry la.. ak x pandai kasi cerita...
hahahahahahaha....
budu ba aku ... sory lah kmu.. kmu.. kmu...
bye....

if you are trying to turn me
into someone else.. it easy to see..
i'm not down with that.. i'm not nobody fool..
if you are trying to turn me into
something else .. i have seen enough and
i'm over that.. i'm not nobody fool..
if you want to bring me down..
go ahead and try.. lalalalalalala~

ohh abbey dawn.. where are you??
but.. see you again...
gosh.. it just a dream... kakakaaka

bye again..